Category: Manhood

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Providing Rituals for our Young Men

There is a de-ritualization of our Christian young men in our culture. They grow up without rituals and grab onto the first sign of a ritualized culture, whether wokism or socialism. Every system of thought shares common practices and liturgies. Some are distinct, and others lack thought and intentionality, as in the vast evangelical experience.

Our young men are reflecting the de-ritualization of church life. As the Church goes, so goes our young men. Dru Johnson notes in his book “Human Rites,” that we need to know our rites, and to know our rites demand the exercising of meaningful rites in the community. We can belabor the point of raising godly young men but without grounding them in godly traditions, our young men may easily find themselves grounded in their expressive individualism.

The more we understand our rituals, the more meaningful they become. The more our young men remember who they are through these rites, the more they will meditate on their meaning and the more stabilized they will be in their Christian culture.

My oldest son turned 13, and I wanted him to see that turning 13 is a rite of passage, a transition to a world of manhood. But beyond that, I wanted him to know that becoming a mature man is not the task of isolation. It’s a community rite, a shared glory with others. I didn’t want this stage of his life to pass by without marking it.

I invited my Church officers to come to our house and to pray over him. I offered a sobering charge to him in the presence of many witnesses, and we sang hymns about warfare and celebration, and then we did a toast with champagne. I will never forget the evening, and I trust he will never forget that life is not a series of empty symbols but a full and rich aroma of substantive rituals that shape your existence from baptism unto life to baptism unto death.

Rituals comprise our way of being. Rituals are established to orient the kind of people we hope to be. Our children need to be bathed in rites. They must look back and see that older men were there, sharing that moment and cheering them through sacred moments. Rites mark our stages in life, and they should be meaningful enough for our young men to pass on to their boys as well. It should be meaningful enough to keep them from chasing false rites.

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Where are all the good young men?

It’s a conversation I have too often with parents and leaders. They ask, “where are all the godly young men?” Where are the young warriors eager to suffer for Christ and to fight the current warfare waged against the kingdom of God?

Well, let’s speak with some sincerity about the lack of good young men in our culture. I don’t want to get into the bashing-men bandwagon. That approach has been quite successful in pointing out the abysmal lack of self-awareness among men from 18-25. It has provided the good kind of guilt that says that men are not living up to a standard, or if any, the lowest form of standard. I applaud the Jordan Petersons’ and all the weak-men iconoclasts out there. Hearty cheers!

As the average age of marriages now hovers between 25-30, it’s time to get this conversation rolling in my little universe. I want to address the young man who is probably very self-aware of his flaws. He sees that his habits have not gotten him far in that predatory aspect I am discussing; that perhaps his gaming skills and his proficiency at gifs are not the kinds of things that will get him a full-time job one day and the respect of a woman.

We should note at this point that finding a woman should be at this stage of life a crucial point of consideration; not the only one, but the preeminent thought of all your endeavors (Prov. 18:22). If you are in your 20’s and the thought of finding a wife is not high on your priority list, something is off. It can mean that you have embraced your independent life so thoroughly that you are accustomed to a life of ease and weird habits that only a neanderthal would be comfortable with. That is problematic. If that is you, it’s time to make some important changes to your Google calendar.

First and foremost, it’s time to re-prioritize life. Too many of the habits you embraced have driven you far from a future godly woman, but perhaps, if you end up marrying, you may find the cute kind who will happily birth you only one child and discourage you from waking up on Sunday mornings to worship the Lord your God. Certainly, God can change the disposition of lazy husbands and materialistic wives, but is that how you want to start a life together? What stories do you wish to share with your inheritors one day? Men, you were created for so much more and the only thing keeping you in your 20’s from changing is your addiction to comfort.

Second, my concern is that you have never given much thought to that which makes you a man, and now that you are in learning mode, you must know that the first man was given two fundamental duties: a) to worship, and b) to order creation. God gave him a partner to do those things more effectively. But while you await your helper, what are you doing as a lonely Adamic figure in your garden? Does your pastor know you well? Do the leaders of the church see you on Sundays? Do the fathers in the church and community see you as a potential candidate for their daughters? Or, are you merely existing and keeping the expected routines external so that you may cherish your secret routines? How are you ordering your creation? Are you forming your life around a goal and agenda? I can guarantee you that every virtue you treasure now in your 20’s that keep you happily isolated will keep painfully isolated in your 40’s. Remember, therefore, your duty to worship and order creation.

Third, remember that your calling is not to develop hobbies, but to develop holiness. Don’t brush aside the real issues of life in exchange for a pain-free existence. Growing up is hard, but necessary. To be a single man at this stage of history is one of the most dreadful things a person can endure unless he surrounds himself with the firepower that gives him protection from Satan’s wiles.

Do not become a casualty of youth. You are probably not called to singleness. In fact, few are. You also know that you crave the embrace of a good wife, as Solomon says. Yet, the longer you linger your preparation for your future, you will become more and more entangled in your private affairs making no room for anything or anyone.

I am grateful that you are aware of your flaws and I am really hoping that you look at your life anew today. Your future is bright ahead of you if you seek to mature into a Christ-like image-bearer. If not, join the thousands out there. Some of them are happily engaged with their nieces and nephews on weekends; good. Some of them are spending late-nights enjoying the company of friends via a headphone; good. But when you are done with all the externalized fun and a visit to your friends’ house for dinner, what do you want now or what will you do now? Do not linger. Let your pastor or godly figure help you strategize. The best time to re-think this entire thing is a second after you finish this sentence. Your move, man!

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The Southern Baptists and the Beth Moore Identity Crisis

The Southern Baptist Convention is undergoing an identity crisis. In my estimation, it’s a healthy and needed one. I live surrounded by Southern Baptist Churches. We are a small liturgical Presbyterian congregation in the panhandle of Florida that uses wine during the Lord’s Supper. That fact alone is sufficient to cause great consternation from our SBC friends. Still, I think our practical and theological differences are the kinds of differences that can stir a good conversation around a beer…make that sweet tea.

I love my SBC brethren, but this entire struggle for identity is one they should embrace wholeheartedly. SBC ministers need to fight for the heart of theological integrity. The ones I know are committed to doing so, and they should strive for the peace of the convention through stricter definitions and not looser ones. As a former Baptist, I am committed to supporting them in this endeavor, which leads me to my main point: It is good that Beth Moore is gone from the SBC.

Beth Moore added a dimension to the SBC that did not shape the ethos of the convention to the standard of the Baptist Faith and Message or to root it more deeply in the Spurgeon-strand of the SBC nor did she encourage the larger convention to a higher commitment to basic and historical concepts on the relation of man and woman and their respective roles in the local church. Moore imbibed an eclectic standard of doing ministry that always pushed the buttons of historical Baptist orthodoxy. She brought a mystical and charismatic flavor to her teaching that encouraged women to look deeply into their experiences as a standard in and of itself. She injected a pietism into the SBC that does not produce the cultural fruit the church needs today to fight secularism. Her devotionals, however beneficial, ultimately did not provoke a greater interest in a faithful hermeneutic, but in a broad evangelicalism that kept readers and listeners at a very basic understanding of the faith.

When such insertion of personality and charisma and pietism coalesce around one woman, it is natural that she will begin to push the creation order and priestly tradition of the Old Testament into new territory. When Moore becomes the voice of a historically-men-led group of churches, she will inevitably become uncomfortable with the outcome of such an environment. If it is true that men spoke unkindly to her or even addressed her abrasively or abusively, that is a separate matter. Those men need to be judged for their lack of care and concern and a harsh reprimand should be a start, and if it’s a pattern, a few floggings as well. That kind of attitude is unacceptable. I agree that action needs to be taken, but once that abusive attitude is dealt with, we are still left at the end of the day with the question pertaining to what the role of a woman is in leading a congregation liturgically or devotionally, or sermonically.

As I have argued before, women have a fantastic role to play in the church, but they do not have the role of leading men in spiritual warfare. And this is not because they lack capability intellectually, it’s because of the order of creation and God’s inherent standard that men protect women in warfare and not the opposite. It is Christ, the risen man, who leads the saints into victory. The minister functions as representatives of that sacred duty on Sunday morning.

If my assumptions line-up with standard SBC practice, and I know they do, then Beth Moore’s place is elsewhere. And this is a good thing. If her reaction to perceived mistreatment or real mistreatment is reason to open herself to un-SBC practices and theology, including an excessive interest in leftist voices to defend her views on racial reconciliation, then she is right to move beyond the SBC. I think this is a sign that the SBC is tightening her corridors. The Convention needs to be more precise in her voice and Moore’s departure may be the impetus for such action.

Anthea Butler, associate professor at the University of Pennsylvania, believes Moore could be the conservative version of Rachel Held Evans. That assessment is a dangerous one since Evans rallied progressive Christians away from biblical authority. A conservative version would mean leading other Baptist women to accept a version of authority with a hundred caveats. The caveats are the danger. One can say, “Only men should preach,” but on special occasions, a Sunday morning should be reserved for a special female guest to speak or share a word. That kind of subtlety forms unhealthy trends that do not lead to Geneva or Louisville, but to the embrace of Mother Woke.

But getting even closer to the heart of the matter is Moore’s distaste for anyone who supported Donald Trump in this last election. Moore believed that Trump supporters went too far and once she began to receive push-back on her anti-Trump sentiments, she began to re-analyze her entire role in the SBC. And with that analysis came a lot of praise from voices on the Left supporting her cause and cheering her revolution.

I have already delved into much of this through this entire season, but what happened to Moore is what is happening to many within the SBC. They are at a crossroads deciding whether they will embrace those outside voices seeking a broader convention led by the influence of Russ Moore and the ERLC, or whether they bring the SBC to a place of stability.

I believe Beth Moore leaving is a good thing. Others who follow her vision should also leave. Until that happens, the SBC will be in one perpetual identity crisis after the other. I hope this becomes an impetus for a healthy trajectory in the SBC; the kind Mohler led a few decades ago. We need another one now and I support that cause if it means drinking sweet tea or an IPA.

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When you no longer think you can be pure

Dear friend,

I have been fairly open about my concerns for the sexual problems in our culture, especially in the evangelical church. After all, judgment begins in the house of God. I spoke recently about the pressures young Christian ladies face (and let us not forget the godly men) to view sex as just an ordinary act in any relationship. “Purity before marriage is a Puritan thing, antiquated, fit for a legalistic society,” they say.

I want you to oppose that mindset at all costs, but I also want you to know that purity is not defined by one consequential sin. In other words, if you have lost you virginity due to naivete or deceit or for any other reason, you are not therefore branded with an impurity mark forever. This would be the most anti-Gospel message one could ever hear. Your purity is given by Jesus who is altogether pure. He died for all your impurities. So, acknowledge your sin to God. Seek wisdom from those who most care for you. Seek counseling and accountability as a young couple, or perhaps move to better relationships or remain single for as long as it takes. But don’t allow those mistakes to take you to dark places. Yes, there may be consequences. And why wouldn’t there be? Your body is the temple of the Third Person of the Godhead! However, it’s not what you did that will define you, but how you choose to deal with that decision that purifies you or leads you to more impure acts.

I know adults who had terribly impious and immoral college years, but they have learned from those mistakes and now live fruitful lives filled with joy. So, I want you to be aware of how both of these ideas function. The value and goal of sexual purity are good and beautiful, but to idolize such things and to treat those who have failed to maintain those goals as secondary citizens is…let’s say, impure.

So, treasure purity. But purity is not a once-for-all thing, it’s more like sanctification. Impurity should propel us to repentance which should propel us to purity in life and with one another.

I hope this helps balance the conversation in a positive way.

Yours truly,
Pastor Uri Brito

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Exhortation: Pentecostal Manhood

Grace, Mercy, and Peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

I would like to spend these next two exhortations discussing briefly what it means to be real men and real women in the Church of Christ. Let me address the men this morning. There is an ideology of masculinity that has replaced the Christian faith as the true religion of men. This type of masculinity finds the church repulsive and un-masculine. Certainly, there is truth to this statement, but the fact is true masculinity is not anti-church, rather embraces the church. You do not have to abandon the church to become man; the opposite is true. You embrace the Church to become truly man. Even Charles Spurgeon saw this problem over a hundred years ago when he said: “There has got abroad a notion, somehow, that if you become a Christian you must sink your manliness and turn milksop.” The reality, of course, is that true masculinity is church masculinity. Real men are churchmen. Real men delight in the church, support the church, delight in the ministry of the church, and desire the victory of the church. This is Pentecostal Manhood; men who are led by the Spirit and committed to leading their families to love the Bride of Christ. This is true manhood and everything else is a false imitation.

Pentecostal Manhood causes fathers to train their children to love everything about the church; to even tolerate her imperfections, because just as you are maturing in your walk, so is the church maturing in her wisdom and love for her Groom; because just as your wife accepts your imperfections and does not leave you when she discovers you are imperfect, neither do you leave the Bride of Christ when you come to the realization that she is not perfect. Pentecostal, Biblical manhood means that the Church carries a central role in the life of the man. He sings with passion, even when singing is not his gift, he sets the model for his wife and children of what a good parishioner looks like. He may not have 40 hours a week to study the Scriptures, but he has 4 hours a week to do so and to instruct His family.

For us, Jesus Christ is the first Pentecostal Man, because He sent the Spirit to make us like Him. He did not leave us as little babes; He called us by His Spirit to become mature men; men who embrace the passion of the Psalmist and the wisdom of God in the community of saints.

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Why Men Hate the Church?

David Burrow’s book Why Men Hate the Church is quite instructive. It teaches the obvious, but an obvious that only becomes obvious when you first hear about it. He observes that women comprise 60% of adult congregation on a given Sunday. In Japan, evangelical churches are filled with women and few men. The matter is complicated when you have young godly ladies, but no young godly men. So, what is the result? The women marry men who need to be taught–when they are willing–the simple things (the elementary things, as Paul puts it). The women carry the spiritual weight and responsibility to educate her domestic parish. Many persevere, but many give up. A sacred partnership in marriage matures precisely because roles are understood and there is no abandonment of duties; but in such in these marriages roles are reversed.

When women are forced to lead churches they become effeminized and families become disorganized (this, of course, opens up an entirely new discussion when considering single and widowed ladies). By her very nature, the Church is militaristic and triumphant. It should be an encouragement to men. She sings powerfully and victoriously, but very few men see this as the picture of the modern church. What men would not be attracted to The Son of God Goes Forth to War or the jubilant wedding of Psalm 45? Unfortunately, modern churches give increasing ammunition to men for not acting like real men.