Theological Thoughts

Micro-Managing Children

Micro-managing our children is a poor strategy. Yes, we need to protect, but micro-managing parents suck the life out of children. Not all their mistakes nor the poor use of words need to be corrected. Some of the most joyful children I’ve met were not micro-managed, but talked to and treated by parents with utmost respect. If we exert micro-managing authority, children will find ways to manage their sins in the dark. If we exert our authority in love, respect, and openness, our children will by God’s grace lovingly, respectfully, and openly speak of and confess their sins.

Additional Comments:

” I do think that micro-managing finds a more suitable home in home-schooling environments for a variety of reasons which are too many to list. But I see this tendency lived out in patriarchal-like circles in a tendency to isolate from church life and preserve a certain pride in our “way of doing things,” and refusing to be like “them.” The result is a new generation of sophisticated atheists who know how to think and use their stories of growing up in such environments to write blogs and start Facebook pages for disenfranchised children of such parents. It’s almost a movement.”

” I wonder how many of us have the boldness to ask those who know us to honestly assess if we fit that description.”

“My central point being that micro-managing produces children who do not confess or are afraid to confess their faults and failures.”

Image result for micromanaging dilbert

Parenting Via Perfection

The notion of parenting via perfection is a myth. When parents say “We are not perfect,” they are merely echoing a false sentiment. No one expects parental perfection. What the Bible demands is parental faithfulness. Faithfulness turns father’s hearts to hurting sons/daughters. Perfection is a myth. Faithfulness is the way of the kingdom. The clearest path to faithfulness is when parents embrace the life of repentance before their children. You can carry the excuse of not being perfect to cover your mistakes/anger or you can carry the faithfulness model and repent before your own children and assert again and again that this home is a place for people that need Jesus daily, and of those, I am most consistently in need of Him.

What is Manhood?

The articulation of manhood is wrong-headed in much of our culture. The man who makes a good living is providing for his wife, but it does not mean he’s a man of character. We’ve seen our share of professionally successful men who abandon their families. The idea of man as strong and powerful may provide protection in its broadest sense, but it’s still not manhood in the biblical sense. In the end, the man who submits to God and His Bride is the most desirable trait and the true definition of manhood. Tim Keller summarizes this well when he wrote: “Men, you’ll never be a good groom to your wife unless you’re first a good bride to Jesus.”

Homeschooling Rest

Homeschooling Rest

Let me address homeschool dads. I am certain what I am about to say applies to other dads in some ways, but my focus is homeschooling fathers. As a homeschooling family, I have a front seat to the remarkable work my wife accomplishes in a solitary day; the ability to navigate, dictate, advocate for the children throughout the day while instructing, cherishing, and hugging. It’s a phenomenal accomplishment. Yet, I wonder how often we dads see their sacrifices, enter into their struggle to offer support and rest. The latter is especially crucial to the successful work of homeschooling moms. It is inconceivable that a homeschooling father watches everything that takes place in the home and remains unmoved by the almost supernatural itinerary of his wife. So, here’s my exhortation: do not fail to praise and edify your wife. Do provide times of regular rest for her. Do see her work as a delightful reminder of the Gospel which nurtures us daily. Consistently ask if there are ways you can make her task more joyful.

Homeschooling is not a task to overburden, overwork, and age quicker. It’s a gift from God to train and nourish your children in the Lord and husbands play a fundamental role in minimizing the pressures and maximizing the pleasures of serving our little ones.

Honoring the Childless Women in the Church

I do wish to rightly honor mothers tomorrow, but for now, I want to address those who would love to bear children but are not able to do so, though in so many ways they have been fruitful and multiplied by pouring themselves into the lives of countless people. I honor the Jane Austens’ and Flannery O’Connors’ of this world who though never married taught us about life in its beauty and elegance. My deepest honor for those women who have chosen childlessness and singleness to love the lost and to proclaim Christ in distant lands in orphanages, translation work, education, and so much more. We rightly honor you, and though you may not share in the celebration of Mother’s Day, you are honored by God and His Church for your glorious role in redemption’s story.

Kuyper and Lordship, Episode 3

The Danger of High Standards

Demanding high standards for our children is a noble thing. Demanding high standards while frustrating them in the process is foolish. In other words, our high standards need to be loving standards. We need to allow love to cover a multitude of sins lest we sin attempting to love.
In parenting, we need a healthy dose of humility. This is hard in an age when grades matter more than godliness; external obedience more than internal motivation. We cannot, however, allow our high standards to usurp the proper place for training in love. We need an end result where our children desire the good, true, and beautiful because they are infinitely better than the alternatives. It is possible that in our high standards we lose the purpose of the law: to direct our children to the God of the law.

Theology is not contrary to love, Episode 2

Introduction, Theology is Applied

Five Practices I Expect From My Boys

Five Practices I Expect From My Boys

Five Practices I hope my boys will exercise now and mature into as they get older:
1) Cook/Clean: I want them to be able to provide consistent opportunities for their wives/moms to rest from their labors.
2) Respect women: Treating ladies with utmost respect in word and deed (opening doors, speaking kindly, honoring them before and after leaving the home).
3) Respect those in authority: I hope they will seek the wisdom of parents, but also of their pastors when making important decisions honoring their roles as leaders in their communities.
4) Faithfulness to the local church: I want my boys to grow to love not only the worship of the Church but to serve the church in diaconal fashion, whether they become deacons or not (given to hospitality). Further, I hope they establish a pattern/example of faithful attendance; the kinds of men that pastors count on to be present always on Sundays and frequently in other informal gatherings.
5) Engaged in good conversations: While they may enjoy sports, I am much more concerned that they are engaged in life-changing conversations affecting their communities and the culture. This will necessarily require them to engage and read important books.