Tag Archives: fatherhood

My Interview with Matt Bianco: “Letters to My Sons”

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From “Letters to My Sons:”

“Once upon a time, fathers had “the talk” with their sons. They used to say it was the talk about “the birds and the bees.” As a young man, I had that talk, not with my father, but with my godfather, John. I still remember it, mostly because I was fascinated by his willingness to tell me “adult” stuff.  Some fathers still have this talk, but it has become increasingly rare and increasingly more difficult to do. For many it seems unnecessary because of all the things our sons are learning in school and from pop culture. Fathers don’t need to talk to sons about changes in their bodies because someone else already has. And fathers can’t talk to sons about the birds and bees part because they don’t have the technical “body changing” stuff to break the ice anymore.  There is more to the talk, though, than just the information that is passed between father and son; the talk itself has a formative impact on the young man.”

In Letters to My Sons, M. G. Bianco writes real letters to his real sons on a variety of topics from love, hate, marriage, adultery, and interpersonal relationships. His letters seek to encourage his sons, and now other fathers and men to understand the basis and nature of relationships so that both parties to the relationship can be fully human.

M. G. Bianco is married to his altogether lovely high school sweetheart, Patty. They have three kids they homeschool together, and he works as the Director of Education for Classical Conversations. Is he a modern day C. S. Lewis? No. But he really enjoys reading him.

Purchase Kindle or Paperback editions of “Letters to My Sons: A Humane Vision for Human Relationships” by Matt Bianco

Father’s Day Exhortation

In his excellent book “Father Hunger,” Douglas Wilson writes:

“What are fathers called to? Fathers give. Fathers protect. Fathers bestow. Fathers yearn and long for the good of their children. Fathers delight. Fathers sacrifice. Fathers are jovial and open-handed. Fathers create abundance, and if lean times come they take the leanest portion themselves and create a sense of gratitude and abundance for the rest.”

These are the types of fathers sons and daughters are craving for. And, of course, these fathers do not come neatly packaged. They usually come with imperfections and without an instruction manual.

But this is all right, because Christian fathers, young and old, carry a great tool with them: the gift of admitting their own sins. Instead of justifying themselves, they seek forgiveness. This ought to be a comforting thought for young fathers here at Providence: you will make mistakes in your parenting, so early on, learn to create an atmosphere in your home where the words “Please forgive me” occur often. Use those words in the living room and in the bedroom. Do not reserve them only for corporate confession. Let your children know that daddy is imperfect, while serving a Perfect Father.

Fathers, you are what you worship, and your children will worship joyfully the God you worship most joyfully. So worship most joyfully the God of your Father Abraham. Do not idolize your children, but teach them to crush idols. Do not serve mammon, but teach them to use mammon wisely.

This is the charge to fathers in this congregation. It is a noble and mighty charge: to love your children and to conquer their hearts, before others conquer them. Learn early and often that you are a servant of your heavenly father. If you do not serve him alone, you will be another absent father in our culture. May it never be! May God grant you strength and wisdom as you lead your families, and may He lead you to your knees, beautify your words with truth and grace, strengthen your faith with biblical conviction, and renew you daily. Amen.

Prayer: O God, our Father, we have at times failed you. We have viewed ourselves as too mighty. We have repented too little, and suffered for it. May we be fathers that delight in You, our great Father. Do not leave us to our own resources, but be our present help in times of trouble. May our hearts be aligned with yours, even as your heart is aligned with your Son, Jesus Christ, in whose Name we pray. Amen.