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The Heaven of Hospitality, Part 3

Bonhoeffer spoke of three tables: a) the daily fellowship at the table, b) the table of the Lord’s Supper, and c) the final table fellowship at the Last Day. We can say that for Bonhoeffer, our daily meals are preparatory for future meals. After all, hospitality is eschatological. There is nothing more fitting for a table of kings and queens than to practice the habits of the eternal kingdom of our Lord.

One begins to see this eschatology in place when the very people you hosted in your home form their own households and begin to share in that treasure of untold stories and laughter. Remember that your children are watching, and they are likely going to imitate your patterns later in life.

It happens, but rarely have I seen inhospitable parents produce hospitable sons. The stories your offspring will tell will be of dreadful loneliness at home growing up or experiences of joy around a table. Again, it is very rare that an inhospitable family rejoices around a table as a matter of practice. Rather, the hospitality of others produces the joy around the table when there is no one to host.

We can begin somewhere to explore the pleasures of hosting when we see it as a seed planted in the eternal garden of praise. To have someone enter your home and partake of your gifts of food is to allow someone to enter into the place of deepest secrets; we are allowing them to see the transparency of unkept yards, rogue Lego pieces, partly uncooked or overcooked meals, rambunctious children, and the regular messiness of life.

Yes, you should probably do some cleaning, but you should restrain from excessive cleaning lest you treat it as a mechanical showcasing of your home. As one sage says, “Your home should look like someone lives in it!” To do that, leave open invitations for the single and the widows to come by for a lentil soup or a Sam’s bought pizza or a good home-cooked dinner on a typical weekday. Then, there will only be a short amount of time to remove the occasional kids’ clothes lying on the couch. Speedy and spontaneous hospitality is still good hospitality.

If hospitality is eschatological, then every experience in hosting is a theological act. If hosting is eschatological, then every piece of pie served, every glass of wine, the spilled peas, the summer watermelon, and the awkward pauses around a table is an act of grace. To be hospitable is to embrace heaven at an elaborate party or at a dinner of herbs.

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Five Steps to Purify our Homes in a Pornographic Culture

The conversation about pornography is a conversation we need to keep having as men. The secrecy or the fear to be caught needs to be replaced with a fear of a loss of wholeness and a loss of communion with God and man. Some thoughts on how to begin purifying our hearts and homes:

First, parents need to be very aware of these issues. They can no longer assume their children are being raised as they were. Exposure to pornography is everywhere. So, the question is not, “how to keep your children from ever looking at porn?” the question, “how will they react when they see it?” Fathers need to have honest conversations with their boys about their temptations and their thought life. If fathers talk now they will not have to later. Capture their hearts and their words early.

Second, do not be naïve about the potential for porn in the home. Allowing young boys to have laptops in their rooms is setting them up for failure. In fact, most addicts began looking at porn when their parents bought them their first TV for their room or their first laptops. The same can be said for cell phones, iPads, Kindles, and any other tool that gives teens access to the web. Set guards like covenant eyes or clean router that blocks pornography use in the home.

Third, husbands love your wives. Spend more time with them than your buddies outside of work. If you love and build up your wife often you will be less tempted to look at other women. It is not uncommon to see men virtually abandoning their wives to pursue their own joys and pleasures. I hope men have good male friends, but when those friendships substitute intimate, loving moments with their spouses they are not only damaging the bond of marriage but mis-prioritizing their lives.

Fourth, limit your internet use outside of work necessities. A home that is constantly connected to the internet is a home that lacks connection with one another. Use times at home to converse, discuss, sing, play, etc. and use your internet time sparingly.a

Fifthly, if you struggle with porn addiction, speak to a pastor or to a friend who is either far removed from his days of addiction or someone who lives a life free of porn. One of the problems with addicts is that when they are finally ready to confess they will tell another friend who struggles with porn and the two end up feeding each other in their weakness. They end up providing each other a pass when they fail.

Finally, worship faithfully. There is no substitute for faithful worship. When you worship the Triune God faithfully God renews your mind (Rom. 12:1) and he renews covenant with you. Be present. Participate in the life of the Church. Do not allow entertainment to become your worship. You are what you worship and God has called you to lead your family into worship faithfully.

Let’s begin this conversation if we have not already done so. And by doing so we will begin to purify ourselves and our homes.

  1. Establish a time when no cell, tv’s, or laptops are prohibited.  (back)