A Letter to a mom with no friends

Dear mom,

I thought I’d reach out to you to answer what appeared to be a distressing topic. You feel alone, and on top of that, you have several little ones who need you every waking hour. In fact, you may have noticed they love to say your name with increasing consistency. Furthermore, you have repeated a few times that you have no friends.

Well, what you need at this stage is a proper orientation. You see, you will not have—ordinarily—friends at this stage of life. Your husband is a friend, but there are different kinds of friendships. You are looking for a deep female friendship grounded in faith and life experiences. The bad news is that this stage of life will not offer you that. The good news is that what your life offers you now with your children is domestic stability punctuated by community joy. What I mean is that your stage of life is not the stage where you enjoy deep friendships, but where you enjoy gentle and sweet connections around you. Your idea of friendship as someone to whom you can pour out your soul frequently and go out for $6 coffee three times a week is not only unrealistic but even unhealthy. You are at a stage where God will send you people to connect with; perhaps even, the same people to connect with occasionally, rather than consistently.

At this stage, you have a house and children to serve as queen. You need to find satisfaction at this stage of life, or you will always be unhappy moving from one thing to another; one institution to another; one ideology to another. Perhaps your greatest challenge at this stage is contentment. Be content with your motherhood, be content with the connections you have at church and outside, but don’t expect something your stage of life cannot offer.

This, of course, leads me to say that you are loved by God. It’s no accident that you are a mother; God chose you to guide your little ones in the way of truth. Don’t lose heart. Your labors are not in vain. You are loved more than you know. God looks at you with such tenderness at this stage of life. You really need to know that. Pour yourself into your children. Love your husband. Rejoice in the encouraging female souls around you. That’s all for now. Thanks for listening and be well.

Pastor Brito