Category: Theological Thoughts

Dear friend,

You asked me about how to talk to your child about the death of a loved one. I have given this some thought. Here are a few ways to approach the subject of the death of a loved one with your little children:

First, make this a family affair. Gather the children as soon as possible to explain that a loved one has died. Conversations of such magnitude need to take place in a safe environment. If a child hears about the death from someone else it might lead to confusion and even anger.

Second, death is a horrible human reality. One of the consequences of the Adamic sin is death (Rom 5:12). We will all die, and likely we will see and witness many friends and family members die before we do. It is helpful to explain that death is an ugly thing and that as Christians we hate death. Taking our little ones to that familiar story of death in the Garden is a healthy way to contextualize the news to them. Death is first and foremost a theological issue, even if explained in the language of a three or four year old.

Third, do not be afraid to use the word death. If you say that such a person has “passed away” or “gone to sleep forever” this may cause confusion or fear in the child. A child might go to sleep at night fearful that he will never wake up. Clarity is fundamental. Tell the child that death means we will never see grandpa or grandma again in this life.

Fourth, do not be afraid to weep with them. Sometimes children do not understand mom or dad’s feelings after the death of someone. Feel free to explain your feelings to your children. “I am crying because grandma died. I am going to miss her.” If they begin to cry, join them in their tears and comfort them.

Fifth, when children discover that a loved one has died, they may assume that you will die also. They may ask questions like: “Are you going to die too, mommy?” At this point, it is important to let the child know that most people die when they are really old or very sick. And then let them know–if it is the case–that mommy or daddy are not sick and are still full of youth. If someone close died of a very young age, let them know that it is not very common, and then point out the young people around him that are alive.

Finally–and I am aware that much more could be said–inevitably, little children will ask questions about what will happen to grandpa or grandma, or mom and dad after they die. As Christians, we need to stress that Jesus overcame death at the cross and resurrection. He died and was raised so that we might live forever. This is a wonderful time to remind them of the promises of Jesus. “Grandma is now in heaven with Jesus. She is at peace. One day when we die we will join her in heaven. Jesus says that when we go to heaven we will never die again; we will live forever.”

Our children do not need a fairy-tale narrative about death. They need a compassionate, biblical approach that is sensitive to their thinking as little ones and faithful to the narrative of the Bible.
There is a lot to navigate here, but I think this question is an important one.

Sincerely,

Pastor Brito

Sometimes it is easy to go back to our early days in the Christian faith. Back then everything was so simple. We believed in Jesus, everyone believed in Jesus, and life was simple. Of course, we then grow up and we learn more about the Scriptures, and we discover that Jesus is one with the Father, that He sends the Spirit, and then we hear the language of the Trinity. It’s in our confessions, our creeds, and in every Systematic theology. And then we learn that if we do not embrace the Trinity, we are not true Christians. But why can’t we just believe in Jesus, after all, He is the answer to every question we can’t answer?

It’s good to grow up; it’s hard to grow, but it is ultimately our goal. And part of growing up means we become more mature in the language of the Bible. We come to know that the Father is God, the Son is God, and the Spirit is God. The Jews and the Muslims criticize the doctrine of the Trinity by saying that any doctrine that cannot be reconciled logically is not true. How can there be Three Persons and One God? Thomas Jefferson expressed the frustrations of many when he said that the doctrine of the Trinity should be abandoned altogether:

“When we shall have done away with the incomprehensible jargon of the Trinitarian arithmetic, that three are one and one is three…when in short, we shall have unlearned everything, which has been taught since His day, and get back to the pure and simple doctrines he inculcated, we shall then be truly and worthily his disciples.”[1]

Thomas Jefferson, of course, is part right and part wrong. “He was correct in the sense that Christians needs to focus on Jesus more,” but he was sadly mistaken that this would bring us back to simple doctrines and away from the Trinity. The reality is that at the precise moment we begin to focus on Jesus we are led directly to the doctrine of the Trinity. It was precisely through Jesus that the disciples knew the Trinity; it was precisely through Jesus that they learned that all authority has been given to Him! By Whom? The Father. Through Jesus they learned that the paraclete, the Spirit, would be sent after His ascension, and through Jesus they learned that the baptism of the nations, young and old, must be done not only in Jesus’ name, but into the Name, notice, not NAMES, but into the NAME=One God, Father, the Son, and the Spirit= Three Persons. God in Three Persons, blessed Trinity.

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[1] Quoted in Darrel Johnson’s Experiencing the Trinity, pg. 12-13

Dear Friend,

People keep warning you about children. You are not even expecting but they, “the mature ones,” already are throwing out their apocalyptic warnings about the “terrible twos” and “terrible teens.” “You have no idea what’s waiting for you!” they warn us, like prophets in the streets of Jerusalem. “Doom!” “Doom!” Here is my humble advice: Smile, and move on!

There will be sleepless nights, difficult conversations, and sometimes C H A O S all around. The volume level will be between a 4 and a 9 in the Richter Scale. But you want to know the reality? The reality is that for every sleepless night, you will get a hundred smiles; for every difficult conversation, you will hear 100 beautiful ones; for every chaos, there are 100 peaceful moments; for every high volume request, there will be 100 sweet snuggles.

I have often said that those who are anxious bring people into their anxieties. People who warn you of such things may be well-intentioned in their warnings, but they are setting a horrible precedent for future parents. They’re “terrible teachers.” They are not instructing accurately, nor giving you a full picture.

Parenting is such a joy and every phase provides new challenges undoubtedly, but overwhelming joy. You should look forward to the birth/adoption of your first child. There is nothing apocalyptic about child-rearing; but rather, there are millions of awe moments. I can’t wait for you to see, experience, and enjoy these little gifts.

Sincerely,
Pastor Brito

Dear friend,

In light of my recent C.S. Lewis quote I posted, you asked how we can “dance” while avoiding “going through the motions.” The question stems from the fact that in a liturgical environment, words, phrases, and paragraphs carry enormous meaning. The fear is that this repetitive feast turns into a requiem for the dead; what some would call “empty ritualism.”

I understand your fear which is why the things we do in the church needs to be done in a highly intentional fashion. What I mean is that we need to shout our worship (Ps. 100:1) rather than whisper it. The liturgy of the Psalter, for example, was always exuberant. God speaks in a still small voice, but we are called to shout unto the Lord. We must sing vigorously, recite faithfully, and hear with great attention. When we mumble our way through the liturgy, we are saying that the “dance” is uninteresting, lacking intrigue, and a necessary check mark on a list of tedious weekly activities. But you don’t just come to church, you have the privilege of coming to church. Therefore, know the liturgy and because of that knowledge, do the act of worship with knowledge and insight and strength.

Yours truly,
Pastor Brito

In a piece by Matthew Boulton in The Journal for Preachers, Boulton argues that the translation “self-control” requires a new orientation in Paul’s fruits of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23). He notes that egkrateia is poorly translated “self-control.” The idea of self-control entails ” a mode of ongoing human achievement.” Rather, the word is formed from two Greek words: eg which is “in” or “in the realm of” and kratos which is, “strength or dominion.”

Boulton notes that something like “inner strength” or “inner dominion” fits better with Paul’s list. Further, it also serves as a culminating point in Paul’s list of virtues. He argues that the idea is that Christians are called to be “in the realm of strength dominion.” Such gifts can only come from a pneumatological anthropology and thus, concludes rightly Paul’s list. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness only make sense when they are expressed in the realm of the Spirit’s strength.

Interview with Fr. Steve Macias,

For those who have inquired and shown interest in my doctoral work, I have just turned in my last paper for Dr. Sinclair Ferguson’s class. This concludes 3 1/2 years of course work. At this point, I have concluded all the prerequisite classes and papers before I begin working on my project/dissertation in July. As a result, a new stage of writing and reading begins that will hopefully narrow down my topic. My goal is to complete my writing by Advent of 2020. In the meanwhile, I am hoping to establish weekly habits that will allow me to focus on making small, but tangible progress.

To ensure my progress and perseverance, I am starting a newsletter for anyone interested. The newsletter would be composed of monthly updates on my studies, notations, youtube videos, and random scribblings related directly or indirectly to my studies. My general interests, at this stage, focus on pastoral theology and counseling. If you’d like to subscribe, sign up in the link below. Hopefully, I will send out the first newsletter by the end of May. Easter cheers.

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The apostle Paul says in Colossians that “if then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.” We are a theological people, but we are also a people who live our theology. The resurrection is something to be lived. The resurrection of Jesus causes us to live a certain way. The resurrection was not an inconsequential event in history, but the event that changed the world and our responsibility to the world. Paul says that our baptisms testify to this reality: “If we are baptized into Jesus, we are baptized into both his death and resurrection. We are dead to sin and alive to righteousness (Rom. 6:11–13).” To be raised with Christ is to seek the life that is pleasing to Him; seeking a heavenly life on earth. So live Easter! Christ is Risen!