I am arguing for instilling an ethos that produces children–particularly boys–who are firm in their convictions but irenic in their day to day expression of them. This model is kingly. Kings control themselves and their actions for the sake of their communities. They fight for their sheep but their fighting is cruciform; foolish in the world’s eyes.
When combativeness becomes a goal or a desired virtue it serves only the purpose of self-aggrandizement and rhetorical isolationism (“I create chaos with my words because I am the only one who can clean up the mess”). If my boys grow up feeling the urge to speak to every issue simply to stir controversy or to enrage those nearest to them while eagerly lifting up the “I am prophet” banner, they’re self-deceived. We are to teach boys to ask questions so that they may grow to ask better ones. Kingly men ask even though they possess authority. Kingly men humble themselves before they are exalted. Beware of those who only make pronouncements.
Jesus grew in favor with God and with man (Lk. 2:52). This favor with man is the oft overlooked characteristic of the God/Man. Enemies will naturally find the gospel offensive, but very often we offend the Gospel with our actions.
In the end, fathers must seek this dual favor for their future men. I pray my boys’ convictions will be as firm as Mount Zion and their ability to engage contrary thought to be as gentle as a dove. They shall know us by our love. When combativeness becomes the desired virtue, they will refuse to know us.
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