What this season shows us is not that we have forgotten how to do certain things, but rather that we have been failing to do certain things for a long time. Thus, the difficulties and successes stem from lack of practice before or some basic practices which were already in place before the virus hit.
I am fond of thinking of formation through the concept of rituals. Rituals comprise our way of being. This does not mean that we are who we are no matter what. Rather, rituals can be oriented to the kind of people we hope to be. So, if we had poor rituals before this season, we either worked on them or struggled greatly because they were not in place.
If the response as things return to normalcy is to think of this season as exceptional cases to the practice of good rituals, we have failed. But if the response is to do an inventory of formative acts that can make us better parents or friends moving forward, then we will have used these last two months profitably.
The way many of us think about formation as humans is wrong-headed. We tend to believe that our personalities dictate how we are to be. Therefore, to connect or conform to something else is too obscure a pursuit. Yet, the Scriptures are constantly calling us to conform to Jesus which means that our way of thinking and being must be continually transitioning towards that divine maturity.
There are some practical examples of this. For instance, when we say, “I only parent by yelling,” we are locking ourselves into a mode that hinders any change. Or when we say, “we are introverts, therefore, we don’t like to be around people much,” we are locking ourselves to our personality rather than challenging our way of being. On the other hand if we say “we are extroverts, and that’s why we talk so much,” we are also failing to heed cautions against too much talking in the Bible. Thousands of other examples could be used.
The solution is not to change overnight. Part of the answer is to take an inventory of rituals that are observably faulty in your life. An honest conversation with a spouse or a close friend can open up some interesting dialogues. Then, begin to assess by the biblical standard where precisely you need to make movements.
We are always forming or re-forming. If we were intended to be as we are, the resurrection would be meaningless. But Christ is risen! He is risen to change us from glory to glory.
