Good morning. My name is Uriesou Brito, I am 6’1, characterized and defined as a “he;” in fact, always as a “he.” I am of Latin origin, currently wearing a clerical shirt and brown shoes, my hairstyle is a combination of a fundamentalist preacher and an aging man, and I am typing a Microsoft Word document. I don’t know if this description is sufficient, but it’s crucial for you to grasp my race and pronoun so that my humanity is clearly identified and that you may make all sorts of cultural and political assumptions about what I believe and whatever privileges you think I possess that I must rid.
For those of you keeping up with these unsavory and strange times, Microsoft has re-invented the greeting wheel by encouraging employees to introduce themselves by an inordinate amount of self-descriptions that puzzled together may defy gravity. Of course, the attempt–they say– is to help vision-impaired people, but the whole thing sounds too sinister to be that naive, especially when the woke buzzwords are flowing from their mouths. Never underestimate the power of subtle messaging. Call me a skeptic, but I will double your concerns for my skepticism. I am old enough to know that technology has a distinct role in changing values for the sake of “Love Thy Neighbor.”My argument is that in times of insanity, Christians need to reorient themselves and navigate through the intricate attempts to reimagine reality by techy idiots. In fact, all attempts to oppose Christendom are attempts to re-imagine Jesus and his way of being, saying, and thinking. We should fight like we mean our “Good Mornings” more than they think we do.
Even if this entire thing is a prank on sanity, it is still worth considering the travesty of the whole endeavor. Look in the comment section and watch that devastatingly insidious video and consider the whole thing from Christian lenses and mock them profusely on Gab. For the sake of letting you know, ’cause that’s what people expect of me, my account is https://gab.com/uriesoubrito
The thesis of these greeting tyrants is that by re-imagining how we greet each other through race, ethnicity, and hairstyle, we are thereby finding ways to greet one another with respect and dignity. and making necessary adjustments to our discourse with/towards them. In a mechanical fashion, we can know who people are by merely knowing what they are outwardly.
“Hey, Nick. Now that I know you are white with a beard, we can now formulate your identity and happily offer you ways to change it according to our victimized status.”
It may seem to be overly pedantic to stress, but secularists love to attack the entire infrastructure of the faith, and attacking our very way of greeting one another removes the physicality of the church greeting and takes away the liturgical function of introductions. This practice delves deeply into the world of “tech absence” which posits that physical touch is unnecessary and that the 6′ feet distance should be a continued pattern in the future (More of this in another post).
If Microsoft employees can have a role in removing the tried and tested models of greeting–perhaps the most repeated elements of human interaction–and if they can replace them with ethnicity, they have therefore conquered the greetings of the Church. These guys are playing the long game and so should we.
What I propose is the Ruth strategy of greeting in Church life. “Greetings” always played a crucial role in the Hebrew culture of the Bible and it certainly plays a role in Pauline theology. The New Testament alone speaks of greetings over 30 times, and there are even imperatives on how to greet one another. But my suggestion borrows from the ancient ritual of Boaz in Ruth 2:4. When Boaz–who is a clear picture of Christ–goes out to greet his harvesters–pictures the Church– he greets them in a particular way. I would argue he greets them as Christ greets us each morning. He said to them, “The Lord be with you,” and they responded, “The Lord bless you.” Now, I have opined in the past that Christians should greet each other like this often, but I think we need to increase our greeting quota to challenge these moronic microsofters with a real greeting that challenges the very core of their working principles.
If you come from more developed liturgical traditions, this will take place a lot easier, but even if you don’t, using biblical language should be an easy fix. You should try it with your kids at home:
Dad: “Ezekiel, the Lord be with you.”
Son: “The Lord bless you” or some variation of this.
Every time the world attempts to change our dispositions, postures, or greetings, we should be ready with an answer (I Peter 3:15) for the hope that is within us. And so, with that, the Lord be with you.
