Letter to Dad Who is seeking to reconcile with his teenager

Dear dad,
you regret not spending enough time with your kids in their early years. And now, you have noticed that your teenager does not seem interested in being around you or talking to you much. This hurts you deeply and you long to reconnect but have no idea how to do so.

My first encouragement to you is to go to your teenager and ask for their forgiveness. “My son/daughter, I want to repent for not investing in our relationship over the years. I chose work and technology over you. I deeply regret how that decision affects our current relationship.” I am convinced that parents need to be repenters before anything else. I don’t know if repenting will change anything, but it is the first and most biblical place to begin any restoration.

Second, be wary of manipulating your children into liking you. Don’t treat them like they are tools in your garage that you use to fit your needs. They are human beings made in God’s image and need to see that they are loved by you for who they are and not who you wish or manipulate them to be.

Finally, if an opportunity opens for dialogue, use it to listen. It’s likely that your teenager has felt unheard for a long time. Be slow to speak (James 1:19). Inquire. Don’t expect a damaged relationship with your teenager to change overnight. God loves to reconcile family members. Be patient. May this journey bear good fruit.

Sincerely,
Pastor Brito