Lenten Devotional (30) & The Case for Long Car Rides With Your Sons

Baptism begins Christian dialogue. It may start as a monologue but builds into dialogue because of the monologue.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace…”

When Jesus talks about managing something, he refers to the proper responsibilities that come with an investment. A steward does not manage things for his own pleasure but for the pleasure of his master. This is how we should think of conflict. Conflict is not God’s curse on you; it’s “a management opportunity.”

It is fascinating how these virtues build on one another. We can say that love and joy prepare us to manage conflict well. People who are selfish and prideful will view conflict as a way of getting what they want. They will not steward conflict with godliness. They will mismanage it and look for an opportunity to prove or control something else. In short, stewarding conflict will require love and joy.

So, in the middle of conflict, we need to realize that these principles must be at work. We are to remind ourselves that the goal of conflict is peace. Even if peace is not secured through the first or second meeting, peace needs to be secured for ourselves before God. God will not judge us for failing to reconcile every conflict. He will judge us for failing to pursue love and joy in the pursuit of peace.

Only Jesus can guide us in this journey, for he is our peace; he has secured our reconciliation even when others may not wish to be reconciled.

Prayer: Our gracious Father, I know that I tend to either pursue conflict or avoid it altogether. But it is inescapable as a Christian. I ask that you keep me in your peace so I may manage the confusion that sometimes emerges in my conflicts with others. I pray this through Jesus Christ, who is our peace, amen.

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The Case for Long Car Rides with Your Sons

It was a last-minute trip, but I pulled my youngest out of school for a day and took him to my mother’s citizenship ceremony in Tampa. This would be a significant event in my family's life, and I wanted at least one more witness to be there.

The trip consisted of fourteen total hours of driving. I always try to have an agenda on a trip like this. I have taken individual children on these long rides and found that preparation produces more meaningful trips.

My oldest son is an avid reader, and due to his ability to absorb ideas, we delved deeply into various topics, including Christian Nationalism, Libertarianism, and Masculinity. Of course, there was plenty of downtime to read and listen, but we mostly spent talking to each other.

The 5th Commandment Imperative

I knew we would have plenty of time, so I set aside topics, lectures, and podcasts to engage. They provide the framework for good conversations. Further, there is a tremendous blessing in submitting to others intellectually. American evangelicals have treated the priesthood of the believers as a case for self-appointed papacy. We live in an era of self-appointed experts who only submit to those in authority when it is convenient or when it confirms their theories. This is, of course, the antithesis of the fifth commandment imperative. The Bible does not say to honor your father and mother only when it suits you or furthers your cause. I argue that the 5th commandment is most clearly obeyed when we don’t agree with those over us. Submission is an ugly word until our own kids one day don’t submit to us. At that point, what will we say? We will be left uttering nonsensical things like, “I taught him everything the right way,” except how to submit the right way. These things do come back to haunt you.

I have felt a strong sense of duty before my son to encourage him to engage me, disagree respectfully with my ideas, and not be afraid to ask for clarification. I open the floor for these topics, and once I make my case, I ask him to find flaws in the arguments. But then, when I reach certain conclusions about our beliefs, I ask him to trust me even though he may not fully understand. Obedience and submission mean open dialogue by fathers but then fixed conclusions by fathers. Yes, there will always be topics open for discussion and refining, but most ethical, social, and political issues need to be engaged, articulated and believed.

This is why infant baptism is an unalterable and inescapable doctrine. It is practiced because children enter into the world of Christian dialogue to increase in wisdom (Lk. 2:52), not to debate or to decide at some magic moment whether wisdom is good or bad. Baptism begins Christian dialogue. It may start as a monologue but builds into dialogue because of the monologue. Parents clothe and feed us when we are naked and hungry (Matt. 25:36-40). It begins as a one-sided event but then turns into a synergistic project. Similarly, God enters into a covenant all by grace and not of ourselves, but then we enter into a kingdom dialogue with him because of his monergistic work of clothing and feeding us. Then, that relationship becomes a synergistic experience of grace between God and man or father and sons.

Traveling to Know

After seven hours there and seven hours back again, my son and I discovered that good conversations take effort and preparation. We enjoyed our gas stops, pork rinds, and Pink Floyd amid meaningful discussions because we shared an allegiance to the covenant realities.

We shared a long car ride because truth matters. We discussed and engaged in the context of openness and authority. I am his authority. He is in submission to me. I don’t command his submission. He submitted to me because I entered a relationship with him at his baptism. That relationship continues 13 years later, and may it continue for the next 13 years and beyond.

Notations

• I had a lovely conversation with the guys at What the CREC? Podcast. It will go live in the next few days.

• Here is a little snippet of a theological project:

Nuntium

• My gregarious son played the role of Mr. Salt in the charming Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

  

Lenten Blessings,

Uriesou Brito