If a young man or woman wishes to be engaging, friendly, and edifying, then let him ask questions. If there is one trait that enrages me in our present generation is their ability to talk about themselves as the source of all knowledge and wisdom and their inability to be curious, uninterested in anyone’s life but their own. Jesus asks 307 questions in the Gospels. Some of them were meant to trap false leaders in their deceit, but many of them were meant to engage others, to reveal compassion for others, to enter into the story of others.
The culprit for much of this is the segregation of ages in a worship service. If the expectation is that our children can only commune or converse with those who share the identical life interests of their age-group, then, what is there to ask of an older saint or even someone younger? The habits of conversational exclusion happen early on, and our goal as parents and parishioners is to engage them often and keep them as much as it is possible at our table–metaphorically and literally. In our home, we have three separate tables to accommodate our guests. The adults sit at the larger table and the children are spread between the other two. But at times, we try to incorporate our oldest children (10 & 12) into the adult table so they can hear and engage and grasp that what they have to say ought never to be the controlling factor in any gathering among friends.
Additionally, we can begin by teaching children to learn and show curiosity for the stories of others by asking for their stories, which most are more than eager to share. This habit teaches them that there is no unknown guest in the home and that everyone is worth engaging at some level. As a test, you can train your children to ask one question about their guest or host. Write it down and be ready to ask them about where they were raised, what they enjoy reading, and other questions fitting their age and capacity. Humans learn by asking first, so that they may teach later. Develop the skills of good questions and you will be engaged for life. Those who don’t ask doth think too highly of themselves or lack the capacity to be good observers and prophets in society. Ask and you shall receive. As one novelist observed: “The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge.” What do you think?