What I wish to do is at least start a conversation by combining several questions from concerned moms. I have a list of questions that needs some dose of response. To give you an example, one mom expressed that she is at odds with her husband concerning her son’s gaming habits. She does not want her son to play most evenings and certainly not all weekends. But dad is pretty laid back and views it as a happy past-time for his kid. Of course, this is a marital issue that needs more development.
Another mom expressed her anger towards her young son’s porn problem. She believes her teenager is no longer watching porn but caught him recently on his dad’s iPad looking at porn. She followed up and asked if the porn problem is attached to her son’s excessive time gaming.
So, this is a brief attempt to connect those two questions in a way that bears out in research and basic biblical logic.
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There is a tremendous amount of research on the impact of pornography on the mind. “Wired for Intimacy” by Struthers is shocking in the right kind of way. In some ways, young men (primary consumers of porn) need to shock their way out of these destructive habits. But more importantly, they need to find a vision for redeeming the body.
One of the negative theological features of evangelical men is that they lack an understanding of the role of the body. In some ways, they function like Gnostics assuming that their viewing is disconnected from their bodies. In other words, the body serves as a means to fulfill quick episodes of pleasure, but it remains disassociated from the spiritual reality of the body. The Christian tricks himself into believing that his piety is left intact since, after all, only the body was involved. But we are more self-aware today, or at least, pulpits should make a mockery of this self-deception. The things of the Spirit are never divorced from the things of the body since the body belongs to the Spirit (I Cor. 6:19).
But in the sea of information out there about porn, I only wish to add one element to the conversation that stems from that wretched curse of Gnosticism. Parents and accountability partners and those who wish to see a culture of integrity among our men need to see that our young men are self-imposed prisoners when it comes to their daily intake of entertainment. They are seduced into thinking that they can keep their bodies uncontaminated while bathing themselves in hours and hours of endless amusement.
The ubiquitous YouTube millionaires are all out there recording themselves LIVE playing the game, mastering the game, and adding to their income through sponsors and eager proselytes who would watch them learn the new secret knowledge.
Now, I am not on a crusade against gaming nor am I making a case against enjoying these things as rewards for hard work. There is a time for these things. But that is where the problem lies, isn’t it? Research makes it clear that the majority of gamers indulge, rather than moderately enjoy this entertainment ritual. And further, there is even more data to suggest that the majority of these same young men are rarely if ever outside enjoying the sunshine or the manual labor that has created our society.
“Yes, but Pastor, this is a techy generation.”
Well, that does not change the necessity of hard work; of running, walking, mowing, or just being outside. If such excessive gamers would also show me their profound tendencies to energetic Bible reading and solid liturgical life, then perhaps I would be tempted to moderate my position, but my time in the pastorate and as a student of human actions prove the opposite with profound consistency.
When I was growing up, my parents would tell us to go play and come back when dinner was ready. I don’t remember offering them much grief in this respect. I learned about rocks, trees, and mangoes from playing outside in the northeastern Brazilian heat. There was time for some games, and we treasured that first Nintendo as if we had leaped into the future for an hour. Today, of course, all of these things are mundane; almost a right of passage to fit into our cultural milieu. “Go play” is now synonymous with “Stay in your room, which you have all day, and play that thing until your heart is content.”
It’s my contention that if our children and young adults were to go to bed tired, and at times exhausted, their minds would go through some form of re-wiring that wouldn’t end in a steady diet of pornography. If our young men understood that to labor is to train our bodies for warfare, then that common temptation between 9pm-2am (the most common times for porn consumption) would be diminished significantly.
Of course, there is no sure-proof exercise, but there are sure-proof strategies to reduce the temptations of men. It is common sense that if you live by the screen you will die by the screen. It is also common sense that if you are tired from a day of hard work, your reward is to sleep, not to indulge the flesh.
The Spirit changes hearts and minds; the Spirit leads to repentance; the Spirit re-wires the mind and if we wish to see how much more attuned we would be to work of the Spirit, we would do well to forsake the deeds of the flesh and work hard for our labors are not in vain.