When your boyfriend is pressuring you to have sex

Dear friend,

You shared with me that your college boyfriend is pressuring you to have sex. He doesn’t do so explicitly, but his questions and tone leave no doubt in your mind. He is constantly looking for opportunities to be alone with you in his dorm room. You know this is wrong, but you “like him too much to end your relationship with him.” It’s likely you will not be persuaded by me or anyone else at this point that you ought to leave him for someone who actually wants your well-being. But you know what is true. Sex is good and right, but when you remove it from the marital bed it’s deceiving and fleeting.

Let’s assume for a moment that you love Jesus, but at the same time, a multitude of counselors are saying “Stay away! Stay away!” But you succumb to the temptation and have sex with him. As a Spirit-indwelt person, you will wake up the next morning with something called shame or guilt. It’s the way redeemed humanity function when they act against their Lord, and even more so when it comes to the sin of giving your body to someone who is not your spouse. At that point, you have two options: either to wake up from your slumber and come back home to the affection of your parents and friends (there is still redemption; in fact, lots of people have come back home when things seemed impossible. Prodigals still come back home, but not all prodigals do) or you dig deeper into your sin and one night of sex becomes lots of nights. If you choose the latter, the more you give yourself away the less likely you are to find refuge in Jesus; the more you will look for refuge look-alikes.

And there is more: if you don’t listen to the wise voices around you, you will be imprisoned to the only voice who tells you what you want to hear and that voice is from the man who has already used you, which means he will not speak truth into your life. Furthermore, if he was able to persuade you to violate the sacredness of your body, then he will persuade you to forsake what you know to be true, good, and beautiful.

In sum, if he wants your body now, he will want your soul and your feelings and your desires and everything else.

I beg you: Come home! Let’s talk and meet and think through a better way. Jesus is greater than your fears and more lovely than the man you think loves you.

Sincerely,
Pastor Uriesou Brito