The modern situation of the church can be summarized by the theme: “The Wilderness comes to the Synagogue.” This what we see in the inception of the kingdom ministry of Jesus (Mk.1). Jesus overcomes the devil in the desert. The desert is symbolic for its lifelessness, but now death comes into the holiness of the worship place, as Jesus battles the unclean spirit in the synagogue. Similarly, the disgrace of modern worship is the assumption that the arid and lifeless environment of the wilderness can be brought into the church without compromising the holiness of the church.
The only arid and lifeless environment I know of is the church. Its the place where the neanderthals devour their own young. Nothing the church does better than cannibalize its people. No matter what you do its wrong. If you do good works you’re fallen from grace for trusting in works. If you don’t do good works you aren’t what you ought to be. Its a shell game.
I am sorry your experience in the church has been so negative…others like us have been immensely shaped by the liturgical beauty and the glory of preaching the gospel each Lord’s Day.