When a married couple says to me “Pastor, we have a good marriage. We never argue,” I have three reactions to this: a) “You are absolutely lying,” b) “Surely the Adamic curse has made you one cosmic exception,” or c) “You all need to be in counseling immediately.” Even the most placid, introverted couples I’ve met argue with one another.
I am not talking about the shouting, throwing vases, or the verbal insults arguing. These are sinful and require immediate accountability and measures. I am referring to the differences of opinion form of arguing. These are necessary and expected in any happy marriage.
If a husband cannot accept the fact that his wife has a difference of opinion on some issue that does not violate biblical morality, that husband is likely making the house a difficult place to live. Husbands and wives ought to thrive in the honest conversations of life.
A spouse must not make arguing a habit or a daily routine of marriage. This can be a sign of deeper problems. But life is too complex, children too unique, and circumstances too unpredictable to avoid ordinary arguing.
Happy marriages are not made of avoiding differences, hiding feelings, playing make-believe, but embracing the necessary disagreements with mutual respect and love for one another. So, when differences arise, argue for the glory of God and the good of your marriage.