Author: Uri Brito

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How to help my anxious child?

Your question is a really significant one and it most likely resonates with other parents and I want to broaden the audience. So, thanks for the inquiry.

The question is, “How do I deal with my anxious child?” You mention that your child worries about everything from what she eats and who she may meet, or what people think of her, etc. Many children suffer through these anxieties in silence. And that, in the long term, can be problematic in the development and formation of his/her Christian faith. I have often stressed that silence in the home is not a justified rationale, even if you are an introvert. Families participate in each other’s lives; families incorporate into each other’s lives, whether they feel that’s important or not.

Fathers–especially–should set the context of good conversations and much deliberation and many question-takers. Too often, we use our child’s personalities to excuse their silence. We say, “Well, he’s just really quiet;” or, “he doesn’t like being around people.” These kinds of statements don’t help in the pursuit of Christian virtues. Solomon tells us that there is a time for all sorts of things, and there is an enormous virtue in listening, which is not the same thing as silence. Good listeners often are the best contributors to the good life.

Now, back to anxieties and worries. These things can be paralyzing, especially for little souls. They overwhelm their sense of being, thus isolating their feelings and thoughts from everyone else. There is an enormous amount of information to unpack on anxiety. Still, I believe the prevailing factor in whether anxieties are perpetuated or not is to break the silence mode in your son/daughter.

Even if you think there is no turning back, I beg to differ. There is always a turning back, and there is always the Gospel hope of a new orientation. Thus, if you claim your child suffers under the magnifying challenges of anxiety, opening him up is a massive step in that process. If this endeavor takes the next five years, do it! If it means taking some additional time off, do it!

I’d recommend a couple of practical steps:

First, fathers/mothers spend an additional amount of time with that child. If you have six kids, divide and conquer. Sometimes, you need to invest more time in one child for his well-being for the sake of the family’s well-being. Families must come together for the joy of those who are suffering.

I would encourage planned time with that child at a park, zoo, or restaurant and open the environment so that he can find the freedom to participate in the conversation without fearing what others may think.

Further, writing down specific questions for discussion can be really significant as well. Inquire about his routines, what he cherishes, what thoughts are prevailing in his mind these days, etc. These can nurture the child and may cause him to open himself to sharing his concerns, ideas, fears, and trepidations with life and people.

The second element is incorporating a heavy dose of affirmation when he thrives under challenging areas. I remember a child who once feared playing in a concert. The fear made her quiet and tense, and isolated. There was no perfect solution, but when that dad sat down with her to hear her piece and expressed appreciation for her efforts, she suddenly became confident to play in front of others. What she needed was the approval of her father that what she was doing was good and worthy.

Anxiety is often a relentless exaggerator, and parents need to set an example of minimizing the high expectations we have for our children by adding points of praise in the good and in the perseverance in the good. Even the slightest word of affirmation can bear great fruit in the long term.

If your anxious child is overwhelmed by anxiety, then our goal is to overwhelm her with the promise of a gentle Savior who accepts her and who calls her to come unto him even in her deepest fears.

I hope to continue this conversation. Of course, this is only a sample of a larger conversation, and I am praying that your little one will find joy in life and navigate wisely–through your guidance and love–these difficult waters.

Sincerely,

Pastor Brito

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The Diligence of an Unknown Biblical Character Named Anah

I am working through Genesis and noticed a name that had not stuck in previous readings. His name is Anah. The reading in Genesis 36 references him in two verses:

These are the sons of Zibeon: Aiah and Anah; he is the Anah who found the hot springs in the wilderness, as he pastured the donkeys of Zibeon his father.

These are the chiefs of the Horites: the chiefs Lotan, Shobal, Zibeon, Anah…

Genesis 36:24, 29

He is singled out for his capabilities to be resourceful. Matthew Henry offers a lengthy praise for Anah in his Genesis commentary:

Particular notice is taken of one Anah who fed the asses of Zibeon his father (Gen. 36:24), and yet is called duke Anah, Gen. 36:29. Note, Those that expect to rise high should begin low. An honourable descent should not keep men from an honest employment, nor a mean employment hinder any man’s preferment. This Anah was not only industrious in his business, but ingenious too, and successful; for he found mules, or (as some read it) waters, hot-baths, in the wilderness. Those that are diligent in their business sometimes find more advantages than they expected.

Matthew Henry

The name itself. עָנָה  is probably translated “answer.” In Israel’s wilderness testing, he was their answer. He wasn’t content with the status quo, but went above and beyond as a leader/duke to provide for his people.

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The Bible Shouts His Name

The Bible is a book of stories. Every story whispers his name. True enough. But then again, we should believe that every story shouts his name also. Christ is there in the defeat of fat Eglon when the sword pierces his body, revealing that he is a man of dung. That was no mere whisper. It was there when Jael drove a tent peg through Sisera’s skull. That was no mere whisper.

Examples like these could be multiplied with little ease. This is more than a whisper; it’s a hallelujah ringing loud and clear. Jesus is the defeater of fat and evil kings and drives tent pegs through the skulls of his enemies, fulfilling the promise of Genesis 3:15.

Far from shyness, Christians should rejoice at such raucous occasions through sacred scriptures. Wherever our Lord goes, he produces disciples unto life or disciples unto death. There is no neutrality. There is no whisper but a loud shout of praise for the Lord our God omnipotent reigneth over all his enemies (I Cor. 15:24-26).

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The Case for Christian Education

One of the more audacious positions of Providence Church (CREC) is that it does not speak adoringly of public education. Our Book of Memorials says the following:

“Government schools tend to be, by decree and design, explicitly godless, and therefore normally should not be considered a legitimate means of inculcating true faith, holy living, and a decidedly Christian worldview in the children of Christian parents. Therefore, we strongly encourage Christian parents to seek alternative ways of educating their children, whether by means of Christian schools or homeschooling. In cases, where Christian education is an impossibility, parents must be active and diligent in overseeing the education of their children.”

In my southern context, most evangelical churches have a host of children populating local public schools. And as I understand it, opposing public schools is not the sort of topic that grants pastors awards in local ceremonies.

Now, mind you, we are not speaking here of the responsibility to bear witness by some mature Christian adults who sense a calling to instruct and minister in that environment. Indeed, I know many who do great work in the public corridors. I bless them with every ounce of my being.

What we are arguing against is the intentionality of sending covenant children to learn under almost always ungodly curriculums. The responsibility God places upon parents to provide a Christian education is too abundant (Deut. 6, Eph. 6), which means that indoctrination is a means of grace to our children. We teach in order to inculcate a particular form of training for our local collection of arrows (Ps. 127-128); the kind that pastes on their foreheads all thoughts of Jesus applied to the earthly terrain of Mathematics and Moravian culture. You may say, “But education is neutral; we can just train them when they get home at night.” Well, I applaud your enthusiasm, but there are intellectual corpses all over the Red Sea of those who followed that logic.

Of course, no education is foolproof. Education A does not necessitate Godliness A. But Christian Education A offers a type of godliness in learning, logic, and leisure that benefits the cause of Christendom. Now, I have been advocating for this for over 15 years. Back then, it wasn’t that popular, but in our day, some have come to the obvious conclusion that such opposition to public education is the right one because the Democrats are eager to give transgender students the option of choosing their bathrooms and locker room and are enforcing mask mandates on little children. If this caused you to jump on the Christian education train now, I am grateful. Whether for pragmatic reasons or not, do it. And the hope is that pragmatism becomes dogma. Find your local Christian school or homeschool co-op in your town and go for it with every Herculian strength you have left.

In our congregation, we try to live out these principles by dedicating some money to help parents follow what we believe to be biblical and true about education. So, if parent A says, “Look, you all are speaking from a position of luxury. We can’t afford to put our children in a Christian school or to bring mom back home to homeschool,” we offer some economic encouragement to aid members to make that decision much simpler. But the one thing we wish to also do if you think this is still an impossibility is to help you –assuming you inquire–to look at your financial priorities on the table and analyze whether that iPhone 12 pro-max is really worth more than a semesters’ worth of books, or whether that middle-age crisis vehicle is really as important as a faithful education for your offspring.

Obviously, there are some nuances to this conversation and some exceptions, but the bottom line is that the longer you look at the exceptions and nuances, your answer will always be the same. But if you begin to look at the principle as the thing you pursue doggedly, the exceptions and nuances suddenly become lesser things than they were just a day or two ago.

And speaking of nuances, if a family desires to keep their kids in the public school system for whatever reason but still love our body enough to endure my occasional meanderings about the dangers of public schools, they are welcome to join our church as members, so long as they eagerly seek the well-being of the body and are not divisive. In my estimation, what we are after is not adherents of Christian education, but adherents of Christendom who believe Christ died to make us whole as students and servants of the kingdom. Christian education best serves that purpose.

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Have Babies Because It’s Dangerous

It’s a common observation by younger couples pursuing marriage or recently married. It happens often enough in the evangelical landscape to be addressed broadly. The general thesis is that this is a dangerous era to have children. The world is a crazy place with hipsters, Kamala Harris, and Harry Styles. I get the fear. I get the cultural grossness. I even get the skepticism of young parents. But let me tell you a thing or two.

Nothing is more joyful than populating the earth with children (Gen. 1:26-28). Nothing is more valuable than seeing these little arrows grow up to irritate leftists with their “Bible this” and “Bible that,” with their intrinsic sense of image-bearing dignity and intense distaste for worldliness.

Now, children can bring grief to their father and mother (Prov. 17:25), but when they seek the things of heaven, they make life a living hell to hell-bound elite parliamentarians.

This is not the most dangerous era of history to have children; this is actually the most productive age to have children. Nay, it is the most adventurous and God-honoring stage of history to have children. And to be really consistent, this is the kind of thing I would say if I were alive 100 years from now.

I would tell every newly married couple to plan wisely to have children and have them at a rate where the 1.9-average-a-year-climate-crisis-expert finds you repulsive. Greta Thunberg will probably not have kids because she thinks the world is in a crisis. She and her legacy will pass away like vapor (Eccl. 1:4), but your kids will take it from her and prove that the world’s crisis is only that which is divorced from Messiah Jesus.

This is the best season in history to have children. It is the most prominent with possibilities for the good to flourish. It is the most fruitful to build true worshipers.

Have babies. Sanctify them. And send them out to roar.

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A Resurrection Theology

Francis Shaeffer observed that “what we are in our thought world determines how we act.” The Apostle Paul articulates this point well in his resurrection theology. Underneath all the dismaying problems in Corinth, there was one massive theological fallacy: they denied the resurrection of the dead. By doing so, they rejected the “importance of the world God created.” And when you deny creation’s importance and the future of a renewed creation, morality is also denied a central place in our lives. We are not moralists, but we are moral. We are called to be moral and ethical because we correctly understand our bodies and their future in creation.

We do not preach the resurrection of Jesus so that you may find your human potential or enlightened self-understanding. We preach the resurrection of Jesus so you may live resurrected lives now, avoiding the deeds of the flesh and submitting to Christ as Lord of everything.

On the other hand, we do not preach the resurrection, so you may daydream about going to heaven and drinking the pietists’ champagne. The resurrection is not declared, so you can spend more time meditating and introspecting. The resurrection is declared so you may strive for righteousness and find joy and delight in serving our Lord.

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A Brief Theology of Bread

The Bible has a thoroughly developed theology of bread. Bread appears as a gift, such as Melchizedek’s gift to Abram; it shows up when Jacob deceives Esau and gives him some bread with the lentil stew. Bread is also a protagonist in the Passover Feast; it’s what fed the Israelites in the wilderness. in fact, sharing bread in the Psalms expresses close friendships. In the Book of Ruth, dipping bread in vinegar is given as a ritual that brings Boaz and Ruth together. It is a marital bonding ritual. And these are only morsels of examples.

If you were to put all that data together, you would see that the purpose of bread—whether literal or figurative– is central to the relational life of the church. In I Corinthians, Paul says that we are one loaf, which is to say we are bound together as one. And finally, in John 6, Jesus is called the true bread from heaven.

At the Lord’s Supper, we eat from one bread to fulfill this beautiful typology. God uses this theme to invite us to his Son, the bread of life. We come together today as one loaf offered to God. May God hear us and accept our bodies as living loaves in his sight.

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Baptism Does Something

Baptism on Pentecost by Niels

Baptism does something. One of the tendencies of evangelical churches is to spend 98% of the time telling us what Baptism doesn’t do and the other 2% informing us what it might do.

That approach stems from fear and not biblical courage. Christians should not fear the language of the Bible. For example, we should not fear what the Bible says about the role of husbands and wives in the home, the limitations of government in politics, and the function of the church in society. Christians should never apologize for biblical language, and neither should we shy away from what it says, even if it makes other Christians uncomfortable. Yes, there are poor interpretations about Baptism, but we should build our theology based on what the Bible says and then defend it from false interpretations. I fear that pattern has been reversed for too long.

There is no new variety of covenant relationships in the New Testament; there is only continuity of signs and symbols and seals. God blessed and incorporated children into the covenant in the Old, and he has not changed his parenting style in the New. The promise is to you and your children in Genesis 17 and Acts 2.

Baptism does something.

The Bible teaches us that Baptism is a divine act. The pastor may be a mere man, but Christ’s act is ultimately authorized by Him and performed by Him. Baptism is what the Lord does to and for His people. Though this is a simple act, there is nothing simple about what this act means. This is not a mere dedication, but God Himself– Father, Son, and Spirit– embracing and claiming officially those who are his.

Suppose that at this Baptism ceremony, alone among all the baptisms that have been performed through the Christian ages, we were granted to witness Baptism in all its behind-the-scene glory. Just as the Minister was preparing to begin the act, a great tearing sound caused all to look up. The ceiling and the sanctuary roof were parted, and down through the opening descended the Lord Jesus himself. Seraphim hovered above his shoulders. The people of God were on their faces before him, but He told them to rise to their feet and to observe what he was about to do.

He brought little children and a young father near unto him and pronounced the divine Trinity over them, he made the promise of His gospel and covenant to each by name, and by name summoned them to the life of faith and godliness. He spoke a few words to the parents about the sacred stewardship he was entrusting to them and how they would answer to him on the Great Day for their children’s faith and life. Then he poured water on the head of each one, blessed them, handed them back to the parents, and ascended back through the parted roof and with a loud crash, the roof came back together, and everything was as it had been.[1]

That Baptism would become a great memory even though some would have no active recollection of it. Scarcely a day would pass without parents reminding them that the Lord Christ himself had taken them in his arms as children and declared that these little children belonged to him from the headwaters of his life!  As these children grew up, they would remain under the mercy and the specter and the glory of that Baptism. Their whole life would be colored and shaped by it. When they disobeyed, the memory of it would correct him. When he was discouraged, it would comfort and inspire him. Could anyone see such a baptism and not know for a certainty that Christ would be attending to the life of that child and that his blessing would rest upon him? That is what Baptism does, and that is its effect, or should be. But we see through a glass, darkly, not yet face to face. This is no small act, but it is precisely what is happening today to these dear saints.

[1] Mainly taken from Robert Rayburn.

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The Fearful Mother

'I Cannot! It Would Be a Sin! A Fearful Sin!'

Dear Sister,

Your question was, and I hope I am doing justice to its insightfulness: “What actions can a Christian take when she is living in fear for the country’s future?” It seems you are frightened by what you perceive to be an attack on a country you love. You are politically active online and constantly update yourself with the news cycle. And from what you told me, you are in several private groups discussing various political topics. If the picture I paint is correct, here are two ways to move forward:

First, allow me to be reasonably direct with you since you posed the question with the anticipation of an objective answer. I want to see you diminish 10% of your time on the news cycle this week. I trust I am being reasonable here. If I told you to cut off all your time, it would be too aggressive a strategy at this stage. 10% would look like keeping your cell phone charged in another room when you come to bed at night. That little ritual shift can be enormously fruitful in diminishing fear in your life. The end goal is not to forsake the political world–as if you had a choice–but the ultimate goal is to think rightly about the political world. You will find that very often the politics of God and the politics of this world are diametrically different.

I can assure you that your fascination with politics and your pessimism about the future stems from something much deeper. In other words, there are more intrinsic fears you have that are overflowing into your perspective about the world and you need to see the overarching context of your fears.

You need to contemplate these small changes because I have watched couples–and specifically, mothers–offer more of their body and soul to these external causes than the internal causes of their households. Remember what I have told you: the anxious person controls the home. You do not want your anxieties to control the lives of your children and spouse.

Therefore, I think you need less screen time at night as a starter. I think you need less bombardment from paid media gurus who literally increase their wealth by spreading more panic. More panic among viewers, more sponsors, and more wealth. You have not been given a spirit of fear, and part of that gift is that you are to steward your courage well so that it doesn’t lose its fervor. When courage and hopefulness are running low, fear happily takes its place.

Secondly, I urge you to worship well. And by that, I mean practicing rituals of worship regularly. If your schedule is filled with worshipping practices, your orientation towards political zealotry will diminish. I have seen moms get so identified with political parties–in my world, the GOP–that they would gladly take an invitation to a GOP convention than the invitation God offers to worship. This is problematic. It’s not just your heart that is in danger, but those around you. If you cannot think rightly about the world, you will not think rightly about God and his call to worship.

Stay close to friends who cherish your heart and well-being, and do not give in to zealots who tempt you to be a revolutionary. Your role is to revolutionize your home with beauty and to strengthen your soul with laughter.

Sincerely,

Pastor Uriesou Brito

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