Letter to a Parent who compares his children to others

Dear parent,
I understand the temptation to compare your children’s accomplishment with others (II Cor. 10:12). There is always a child who will outsmart yours; there will always be a child who will thrive in an instrument faster and more effective than yours; there will always be a child who is more skilled in a sport than yours. Yet, our hearts sink with despair when we allow ourselves to fall into that trap of comparing.

If you give in to that mode of thinking, you will rarely be yourself again. Beyond that, you will endanger your children from being and expressing their gifts for who God made them be. They will grow up feeling the weight of never being enough, never resting enough, and always trying to fit into an image you had for them, or worse, feeling incapable of living up to your golden standard.

Resist that temptation. Cheer your child. Gently direct them. Minister to them when they fail. Don’t bring child x into a conversation to highlight your own child’s shortcomings. Encourage their gifts and remind them they are loved when they get a lower grade, when they can’t play that piano piece just right, and when they strike out.

Yours truly,
Pastor Brito

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